


The Minor Fall

by Hockey_3720



Series: And Love is Not a Victory March [1]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Heartbreak, Helpful edelmom, M/M, Nightmare, helpful Tom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 23:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13669308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720
Summary: Danny peaked up and showed his brown eyes. "Please leave me alone," Danny mumbled as more tears ran down his face.Julian shook his head and moved so he was sitting criss-cross in front of Danny. "You know I can't, man."What Danny said next made Julian's heartbreak even more than it already had. "She's gone… Now that bottle's gone… I've got nothing left, Jules," Danny's broken voice mumbled as he sniffled and looked at his blue-eyed best friend."Yeah you do," Julian whispered as he looked at his destroyed best friend.





	The Minor Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy :)

Julian was sitting on his couch while scrolling through Instagram on a surprisingly quiet night when a text from Tom popped up.

           Tommy 8:17

Danny and Olivia broke up. I've been trying to get ahold of him, but he won't answer. Can you go over to his place and check on him?

Julian's heart skipped a beat as he read the message, but quickly replied with a short ‘sure'.

As Julian got up from his couch and slid his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants. "Oh, Lord. Julian, keep your cool," Julian mumbled to himself as he ran his hands through his hair. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and pulled a JE11 hoodie over his head, then made his way out the door. He quickly pulled out of his driveway and made the four-mile drive to Dola's apartment complex.

Once he parked he walked in and walked past the security guard, Rich, with a small, fake, smile on his face. "Evening, Mr. Edelman," Rich smiled as he looked up from the computer and nodded.

Julian nodded back and walked up to the counter. "How are you, Rich?" Julian placed his hands flat on the desk and looked down at Rich.

"I'm well, how are you," Rich asked as he leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head, stretching. Rich was a man in his mid 20's working a second job to help his parents out.

"Not bad. Listen, Danny hasn't been answering anyone's texts… And Tommy sent me to check on him. Is it okay if I go up there and check on him? I even have a key already," Julian asked as his blue eyes pleaded the younger man.

Rich sighed and sat up straight. "Yeah, but only this time. And because I know you guys are always hanging out when he's not with Olivia," Rich replied with a sigh.

"Sweet! Thanks, man, I owe ya big," Julian began making his way to the elevator with a smile displayed on his face. "Also, you can call me Julian-- Mr. Edelman is too formal!"

"Okay, Julian," Rich called as Julian began to walk into the waiting elevator.

Once the elevator closed Julian pressed the button for the fourth floor-- Danny's floor. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. "What am I supposed to expect," Julian mumbled to himself as he pressed his hand to his face to brace himself.

The elevator dinged, the doors slowly slid opened, and Julian pushed himself off the wall and walked into the hall. When he got to Danny's door he fumbled the key out of his pocket and stuck it in the door, luckily Danny didn't put the chain on it.

Julian stepped inside and closed the door quietly before he kicked off his shoes. First, he peeked into the living room to see all the pictures that held pictures of Danny and Olivia face down and scattered across the floor. Julian sighed and continued to walk toward the kitchen where the light was one.

Julian let out a slow sigh as he walked in and saw Danny sitting at the kitchen table, eyes closed, middle finger and thumb of the left hand clutching his temples and his left arm propped up on the table. The next thing Julian noticed was the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's sitting in front of the glass that Danny was clutching in his right hand.

"Danny," Julian asked softly as he watched his best friend at the table.

When Danny opened his eyes and looked up at Julian through squinted eyes, Julian's heart shattered into a million pieces. Danny looked beyond broken as he looked up at Julian; he had watery eyes, tear stained cheeks, and rosy red cheeks.

"How'd you get in," Danny slurred upon his words as he looked up at Julian through his watery eyes.

Julian held up his key and scrunched his eyebrows together. "You okay, Bubs?" He looked at Danny and felt his own eyes begin to water.

"Oh yeah," Danny replied sarcastically and quickly took a sip of the Jack from his glass, "totally fine. Better than ever in fact."

Julian sighed and moved in closer to slide into a seat adjacent to Danny. He looked at Danny and then the empty bottle. "Danny," Julian said softly as he looked at his clearly heartbroken friend.

Danny looked up at Julian was fresh tears running down his face. "What, Julian," Danny responded as his voice cracked and his body began to shake.

"It's okay," Julian mumbled as he wiped at his own teary eyes and reached his other hand to place it lightly on Danny's muscular shoulder. "We all go through rough breakups. You'll be… You'll be pulling in new women before you know it." It broke Julian's heart to be giving Danny advice on getting someone that wasn't him.

Danny didn't say anything, he just looked down at the table and brought the glass to his lips again, taking a sip. Julian gripped his shoulder a bit tighter let out a sigh. "Danny, how much have you drank? It that the bottle I got you for your birthday," Julian asked as his voice soaked with concern.

"Why would it matter," Danny asked as he looked up at Julian, suddenly somewhat sober. "No one cares anyway."

"Jesus," Julian grunted under his breath. "Dola, are you telling me that you just opened it today?"

"So what if I did? No big fucking deal," Danny shot back as he pulled away from Julian's touch and downed the rest of his glass.

Julian sighed and moved back in the chair, making it skid across the hardwood floor. He stood and quickly pulled the bottle from the table. "Hey," Danny practically shouted as he moved back his own chair and followed Julian.

As Danny was hot on his trail he weaved around their pulled out chairs and began walking out of the kitchen, toward the bathroom. "Edelman! Give me back my fucking Jack," Danny shouted as he began to slow up and stumble behind Julian.

Julian shook his head, unscrewed the cap and poured it down the sink. Danny shuffled in as the last bit was going down the drain. "What the fuck," Danny complained as he looked at Julian with disbelief painted on his face.

"You need to stop man. This isn't good for you," Julian exclaimed as he looked at Danny with wide blue eyes.

"God," Danny hissed at Julian, "Never did I ever think that Julian Fucking Edelman would turn his fucking back on me. Like what the fuck, Bro?"

"Dol-," Julian began but was quickly cut off.

"Don't fucking call me that. You're clearly not my friend. Only my friends can call me that," Danny shouted as his brown eyes shot anger at Jules.

Julian let out a huff. "Fine," he began, "Danny. Danny, I'm not turning my back on you. I'm trying to help you. Please let me help you."

Danny shook his head and threw his hands up. "You know what? Fuck you! I'm not drunk enough for this! Fuck you," Danny yelled as he stormed out of the room,

Julian quickly followed him but got Danny's bedroom door slammed in his face-- literally, his nose got smashed pretty good. "Ah fuck," Julian practically screeched as he moved his hands up to his nose and dropped the now empty bottle of Jack to the floor. He pulled his hands away from his nose to see if there was blood; Julian sighed when there was none. Luck was also on Julian's side because the bottle didn't smash either. He went to grab the doorknob, but Danny had locked the door.

"Fucking feel free to leave," Danny called through the door.

Julian rolled his eyes as his best friend and got up on his tiptoes to grab the key off the top of the door frame. Once he got it off the top and slid it into the hole, he turned the doorknob and walked in to see Danny in the corner with his back to the wall and his knees pulled up with his face tucked away.

As he sighed Julian walked across the floor, around the unmade bed and kneeled in front of Danny. "Danny, please," Julian begged was pleading eyes.

Danny peaked up and showed his brown eyes. "Please leave me alone," Danny mumbled as more tears ran down his face.

Julian shook his head and moved so he was sitting criss-cross in front of Danny. "You know I can't, man."

What Danny said next made Julian's heartbreak even more than it already had. "She's gone… Now that bottle's gone… I've got nothing left, Jules," Danny's broken voice mumbled as he sniffled and looked at his blue-eyed best friend.

"Yeah you do," Julian whispered as he looked at his destroyed best friend. "You don't need alcohol, man. You've got Tom, you've got Rob, you've got Ryan, you've got your parents, you've got me, Dola. You've got many other of our teammates too. You've got all of us. Who said you need a girl to make your world a better place," Julian asked as he moved so he was sitting next to Danny.

Danny let out a sob and leaned his head on Julian's shoulder. "Jules," Danny paused and took a deep breath, "I… I l-loved her. I thought… I thought she was the o-one."

Julian sighed. "Hey, maybe the man upstairs has better plans for you," he wagered as he leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Danny let out a sarcastic chuckle. "Yeah, okay… Yeah, the man upstairs had a plan for me to walk in on her and another man? Yeah. That's it-- so much good is going to come out of this," Danny complained and shook his head against Julian's shoulder.

"You never know man," Julian whispered with his eyes still closed, "Maybe there's been someone around that's been in front of you the whole time." Julian wanted to shout ‘maybe it's me', but had to stop himself.

"Hah. Yeah, okay," Danny mumbled and began to cry again. Julian sighed and let his legs down so they were flat on the floor. He moved his arm up and wrapped his arm around Danny's shoulders.

"It'll all be okay, Dola. It'll be okay," Julian attempted to calm Danny in a hushed voice. Danny turned his head so he was sobbing into Julian's chest.

Julian was at a loss for words. He hated seeing his best friend this way. At one point Danny's sobs turned into soft cries, and then his whole body went limp. Julian sighed as he adjusted Danny was his head was resting on his muscular legs. "It'll be okay, Bubs. I promise. I'll always be there," he mumbled as he ran his hands through Danny's short dark hair and tears began running down his cheeks.

When Julian woke up Danny was no longer in his lap; he was curled up on the carpeted floor with a pillow under his head and a blanket draped over him. He sighed and sat up with a yawn, then took in his surroundings. Then he threw the blanket off him and made his way out of Danny's room. When he got out to the kitchen Danny was sitting with his back to Julian at the breakfast bar.

He shuffled across the floor and sat in the chair next to Danny. He could now see Danny was sitting there eating a bowl of cereal. Danny took a sip of the milk that was left in his bowl and looked over at Jules. "Thank you," was all he said as he glanced at Julian with still puffy red eyes.

"Anytime man," Julian mumbled as he leaned forward, crossed his arms, and rested his chin on them so he was looking straight ahead. "Not too hungover?"

"Nope," Danny said sharply, "Only threw up once, and my headache isn't that bad."

"I would've gotten you some Advil last night, but you fell asleep on me," Julian informed as he sat back up at looked at Danny.

"You don't have to do that, Jules," Danny replied as he looked over at Julian and sighed.

"You okay man? You… You looked so broken last night," Julian asked as he looked at his best friend with watery blue eyes.

Danny let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Y-Yeah… I shouldn't have opened that bottle of Jack," he confessed with a small chuckle at the end.

"Yeah, no kidding," Julian joked and carefully bumped his shoulder with Danny's.

"I was gonna propose," Danny suddenly said and looked over at Julian with his sad brown eyes.

Julian let out a breath he didn't even notice he was holding and raised an eyebrow. "You were… gonna propose," he questioned slowly as if he was unsure about what he was saying.

Danny nodded at Julian and then looked away as some tears ran down his face. "I was gonna have you go with me last week, but then you had to do that press conference with Tom. And I was gonna text you today to ask if you'd go with me," Danny told Julian as he shook his head in disbelief. "I fucking walked in on her, in her apartment that she gave me a key to, to her fucking riding another man."

Julian sighed. "You'll bounce back, Bubs. I know you will. You'll… You'll find a better girl," Julian advised with a half nod.

"I don't think I will… I think… I think I should just… Stay off the market for now… Maybe we could… Go to the bar tonight or something? Grab Rob," Danny asked and raised an eyebrow. 

Julian nodded. "There's the spirit! Okay, yeah… I'm down. We don't have practice today or tomorrow… So yeah, lets fucking do it," Julian exclaimed as he jumped up.

Several hours later Rob, Danny, and Julian were at the bar ordering some drinks-- well Rob was dancing with girls, but Danny and Julian chilled at the bar. "That chick over there," Julian nodded to a blonde female sitting at the bar across from them, "has the hots for you, Dola. She's been making googly eyes at you all night."

Danny scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion. "What are you talking about, Jules? She's had her eyes on you all night. Any move you make she follows. Like go to the bathroom right now and I'll bet you ten bucks that she'll follow you or something," Danny replied matter-of-factly. 

Julian tilted his head with a smirk on his face and stuck his hand out. "Fine. You're on. I'll be right back," he said as he shook Danny's hand. Once he let go of Danny's hand he walked to the bathroom, keeping an eye on the girl.

After a minute in the bathroom, he walked back out again and almost instantly the blonde was talking to him as she rested a hand on his bicep. "Hi there Cutie," she greeted as she shot him a fake white smile.

Now that Julian was up close he could tell how slutty she really was; bleach blonde hair, fake as can be tan, and way too much makeup. He sighed and pulled from her touch. "Hi, I'm sorry, but I've gotta go, I'm here with my friends tonight," he apologized as his blue eyes looked into her brown ones-- Danny's were so much better than hers.

"Ugh. Fine," her high pitched voice complained as she stormed off and out the door of the bar.

Julian rolled his eyes and walked back to Danny at the bar. Danny had a large smirk playing on his face. "Here," Julian grumbled as he slammed a ten dollar bill on the bar in front of Danny.

Danny slapped him on the back and barked out a laugh. "Ha! Told you-you fucker," Danny called out as he leaned over so he was leaning on the bar and looking at Julian. He didn't say anything-- just looked at Julian, thinking for a minute, or two.

Julian raised an eyebrow and wondered what was going through Danny's head as those beautiful brown eyes looked back at him. "You okay there, Bubs," Julian asked in confusion.

Danny closed his eyes, scrunched his face together and opened his eyes again to see Julian's concerned blue ones looking back. "Yeah, Jules. I'm just fine… I'm just… I'm really not feeling it tonight though," Danny confessed and slumped his shoulders a bit.

"You wanna get out of here? Maybe… Just go to my place and play video games or some shit," Julian offered with raised eyebrows.

Danny began to protest but stopped himself. "You know what? Yeah, that'd be great man. Am I gonna tell Gronk? Or are you," he asked as he glanced over at Rob who was grinding against a short brunette.

"I think I'll just text him and tell him we're leaving. He seems to be having a pretty damn good time right now," Julian pointed out with a small chuckle, because-- Typical Gronk.

"Okay, yeah…. Let's go," Danny said with a small smile as he grabbed the sleeve of Julian's white V-neck and pulled him toward the door. When they got outside the cool November air hit them almost instantly. "Ah fuck," Danny hissed and shivered.

Julian shrugged, not even phased. "I'd give you my jacket right now but I don't have one," he told the older man, only half joking.

Danny whacked him in the chest and laughed. "Oh shut up, Jules," he shot back as he held his arm out to get the cabbie's attention.  

The two slid in, Julian gave the man his address, and then they were off. Danny leaned back into the cushion. "Why am I so tired all of a sudden," Danny asked as he turned his head to look at Julian, and Julian was already looking at him.

"Uh," Julian stammered, knowing he had been caught staring, "Uh… I don't know. It's not like neither of us got very much sleep last night."

Danny sighed and nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Hey Bubs," Danny mentioned and continued to look at Julian with his soft brown eyes.

Julian was melting from the look that Danny was giving him. He swallowed the spit in his mouth and raised an eyebrow, "Uh… Yeah?"

"How'd you know we broke up," Danny asked as he moved so he was actually sitting up and contently looking at Julian. He was beginning to really feel the buzz that he had acquired at the bar.

Julian sighed and looked down, digging his chin into his chest. "Tom told me. He texted me and asked me to check up on you," Julian confessed. "I was really sore from practice yesterday so I just kinda chilled at home."

Danny nodded slowly and turned his attention away from Julian without another word. When they got to Julian's Julian thanked and paid the cabbie before he met Danny at his front door. "Ugh," Danny whined, "I left my key to your house at my apartment."

Julian chuckled and pushed Danny out of his way so he could unlock the door. Danny just rolled his eyes at the younger man. Once the door was unlocked Julian pushed the door opened and slid his keys back into his pocket.

"I'll be right back man. Do you want a pair of sweats so you're more comfortable," Julian asked as he made his way to the stairs.

"Uhm, yeah… Sure that'd be great," Danny replied as he walked into Julian's living room and looked around. The picture of him and Julian on the wall caught his eye. He walked over to it and looked at it. 

He was laying on the ground with Julian on top of him, hugging him. Julian's helmet was in his hand and the other was pinned between the ground Danny's back as Danny looked up at the camera, with his arms around Julian.

Danny smiled as he remembered that day-- that moment so clearly. Confetti was flying everywhere, someone had just given him his Super Bowl Championship hat and he was looking around for Julian.

"Dola," he heard Julian's voice call out for him. He could see Julian coming toward him with t-shirts draped over his shoulder. 

Next thing Danny knew, Julian was jumping into his arms and yelling into his chest. "We fucking did it man! We fucking did it!"

Danny couldn't hold the sudden weight so they fell back hit the ground. Julian's hat came flying off as he fell on top of Danny and held him tight. "We fucking did it Dola!" The look in Julian's eyes made Danny look at his best friend a different way that day. 

"Damn right we did Jules! We fucking did," Danny yelled as he brought his own arms up and wrapped them tightly around Jules.

Tears were running down both of their faces as Julian looked up at Danny again. "God. This is fucking great," Julian exclaimed and smiled at him.

"Here ya go Dola," Julian said from next to Danny, which startled Danny and made him jump.

"Jesus Jules," he complained and looked at the younger man with wide brown eyes. Julian just shot him a cheeky smile, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Well," Julian began still smiling at Danny, "When you're so deep in thought it's kinda easy to sneak up on you."

Danny shrugged and nodded slightly. "Yeah, that's very true. Now, I'm gonna go change really quick," Danny informed and began walking toward the half of bath that was right off the living room.

"Okay, Bubs. I'll go pick a game," Julian called after him and made his way to his to his games. He instantly picked his favorite-- Mario Kart (It's a classic okay).

When Danny got back to the living room he sat down next to Julian and crossed his legs. "I swear. I shouldn't let you pick the fucking game. It's always Mario Kart," he complained as shook his head as he picked the controller up and hit play.

"Deal with it man," Julian replied and laughed as he ran Danny off the track.

"Ugh. Fuck. You play so dirty it's not even fair, Jules," Danny yelled as he was put back on the track.

"Yeah we-," Julian was cut off by Danny's phone ringing on the coffee table.

Danny paused the game and leaned forward to look at it. Danny's breath got stuck in his throat. "Is it her," Julian's voice asked next to him.

Danny sighed. "Yeah," his voice trailed off as he continued to look down at it with eyebrows raised.

"Answer it," Julian budded in and nudged Danny in the side.

Danny's shoulders slumped and he grabbed it, pressing the talk button on the screen. "Hello," he asked in as bold of a voice as he could manage to let out.

"Hi, Danny," her voice came through, "I just wanted to let you know I could drop your stuff off on Friday at your place."

He let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Yeah… I mean… Yeah, okay. I'll uh have your stuff for you then," Danny replied with a sigh.

"Okay. Thank you, Danny. And I'm sorry," she mumbled softly, "I really am… I hope you believe me."

"Can… Can I just ask why," Danny asked as his voice cracked and a stray tear began running down his cheek.

"I-I figured," Olivia took a deep breath before she continued, "I figured that you were out there screwing other guys… so why can't I?"

That confession made Danny's whole world stop. "What did you just say Olivia," his voice suddenly became hard and Julian looked up from his twitter.

"It's obvious, Danny. You are so into Julian," she argued, "And he's definitely into you. He's like a lovesick puppy around you."

"Jules," Danny asked in shock as he looked straight ahead at the paused video game. Julian's full attention was now way from twitter and on Danny.

"Yeah, Danny, stop denying it. For the love of god," Olivia complained and let out a huff on the other end of the line.

"Julian Edelman," he questioned, trying to confirm if he actually understood what she was saying. 

"Yes, Danny! Oh my god! Just fucking admit it," she complained, "You'll… You'll thank me one day, Danny. I've… I've gotta go right now. I'll let you know when I'm on my way on Friday."  

"Olivia," he yelled as he stood up, "Don't you dare hang up on me!"

"Goodbye, Danny," she decided and hung up.

Danny pulled his phone from his ear and looked at the ‘call ended' screen. "You bitch," he yelled at his phone and fell back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling with a huff.

"You uh… You okay man," Julian asked with a concerned voice from next to him.

Danny began laughing. "You know what she fucking told me," Danny complained through laughter as he looked at Julian.

Julian raised an eyebrow and nodded. "What did she tell you," Julian wondered as he sat there, blue eyes looking toward Danny in curiosity.

Danny stopped laughing, sat up with his elbows resting on his thighs and looked at Julian with a blank face. "She told me she did it… and I quote because ‘I figured you were out there fucking other guys so why can't I'. And then she continued to tell me that I had a thing for you and you had a thing for me," Danny fumed and shook his head at the thought.

Julian looked at Danny with furrowed eyebrows, as his heart began racing and ‘oh fuck' kept repeating in his head.

"I mean what the fuck is that," Danny asked as he flung himself back into the cushions of the couch.

Julian took a few more seconds before he responded with a nervous laugh and said, "Are you fucking kidding me? That's… That's  ridiculous!"

"I know," Danny agreed with a sigh and cracked a smile of his own at Julian.

Danny spent the rest of the night, thinking about how stupid Olivia was, what it'd be like if he and Julian were more than just friends, and how good it'd feel if Julian had his warm arms around him. Julian on the other hand, spent the rest of the night trying to stop himself from crying and wishing that Danny felt the same about him as he felt about Danny.

***

"It's okay Julian. I love you," Danny said as he wrapped his arms around Julian and pulled the crying man's face to his chest.

"No-- No… This can't be true. He can't really be gone," Julian cried into the older man's chest as he sniffled.

"Your dad wouldn't want you to be sad," Danny mumbled into Julian's ear softly and placed a light kiss on Julian's forehead, "You're okay. It'll all be okay." Somehow the kiss made it all feel better.

Julian let more tears run down his face. "He's never coming back, Danny. I want to see him one more time. But I can't. I'll never see him ever again," Julian sobbed.

"It's okay Jules. I'm here, I love you and I'm here…"

"Julian… Jules… EDELMAN," a yelling woke him up. Julian darted straight up and looked around the room to see that he was in his hotel room bed in Buffalo, and Danny was sitting on the bed next to him, shirtless, with his warm hand on his bicep. Danny 

"Oh my god," he practically called out and let real tears run down his face. "It was so real." Julian didn't know if he was talking about the death of his own father, or Danny telling him that he loved him.

"Are you okay, Jules," Danny asked softly as he moved a little closer to Jules and showed concern on his face and in his dark chocolatey eyes.

"I-I… He died," Julian mumbled as his cries began to slow and he choked on his breath several times.

"Hey, hey," Danny mumbled, "Sit up, Jules." He helped Julian sit up and then placed a hand on Julian's bareback. "Hey, ‘s okay, Jules."

Julian leaned forward and held his hands over his face as he tried to calm himself down. "I-I… Oh god… It's not fair… It was all so real," Julian mumbled with a sigh as he pulled his hands away from his face and looked up at Danny.

Danny sighed and rested his hand on Julian's muscular upper back. "Shh… Shh, it's okay, bubs," Danny whispered as he studied Julian's face.

Julian soon calmed and just sat there looking down at his hands and sniffling. "I'm s-sorry for waking you up, Dola," Julian mumbled and looked up at Danny with red puffy eyes.

"It's perfectly fine," Danny informed with a caring voice, "Are you okay, though?"

Julian slowly nodded. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Thank you," Julian lied and moved so Danny's hand was no longer on him. He laid down, facing away from Danny and stared at the window as more tears began to run silently down his cheeks.

Danny let out a huff and then Julian's bed was no longer dipping down under someone else's weight. Julian stayed that way, wide awake for hours until the sun came up and Danny's soft comforting snores came to a stop because of his alarm going off.

He didn't even budge as he heard Danny get up and jump in the shower. 15 minutes later Danny walked out of the bathroom and looked over at his best friend's muscular back. With a little sigh, he shuffled over to the bed and watched Julian's body moving with every breath.

"Jules," he sighed and looked at his best friends body.

Julian didn't even flinch. He just laid there and didn't say a word, he didn't want to speak, he didn't want to think, and he most certainly didn't want to look to Danny. Ever since Danny had broken up with Olivia, Julian saw Danny as eligible… But he knew he didn't stand a chance after that night they played Mario Kart. He knew, because of Danny's reaction he couldn't say anything. It had been haunting him for five days now, and he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to go on without cracking.

The mattress dipped behind Julian as Danny sat down on the edge of the bed. "Jules," Danny whispered as he placed his hot hand on Julian's bicep.

Julian still decided to look dead forward at the window.

"Come on, Bubs," Danny pestered a little louder, "It's time to get up. We've gotta catch the bus in twenty minutes."

Julian closed his eyes and then opened them again.

"Come on, Julian," Danny croaked and grasped Julian a little harder so he was able to shake him a bit, "Get up."

Julian moved this time, away from Danny's grip. He practically fell out of the bed and darted to the bathroom, leaving Danny alone. Julian instantly jumped into the shower and let the hot water run down his back. It was so hot it made his skin red, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

When he was done he walked out of the bathroom to an empty room. He quickly got changed for the game and grabbed his duffle bag. "Hey Rob," he greeted Rob with a half nod.

"Hey man, what's up," Rob asked with a large smile displayed on his face.

"Not much, just a rough night," Julian replied and shrugged as he looked up at the much taller man.

"Yeah. What'd you and Danny do last night? You both look really tired this morning," Rob remarked as he raised an eyebrow in question.

"We just got here and then we kinda went to bed right away… He probably stayed up later than me though," Julian inquired and sighed. "Like I literally passed out the minute that my head hit that damn pillow."

Rob nodded. "I feel ya. I low key did too, Jules!"

***

With 4 minutes left in the third quarter, Julian was ejected from the game for throwing a random punch at one of the refs. Julian stormed off to the locker room and threw his helmet to the ground in frustration before he collapsed in his stall.

"Fuck," he screamed as he put his face in his hands and sighed. "What the fuck." He sat there for a few more minutes before he got up and stripped so he could take a shower. As he stood under the hot steaming water he wrapped his hand around his half hard dick and began pumping.

An image of Danny came to his mind as he closed his eyes and began pumping faster. He couldn't help but imagine the feeling Danny's lips wrapped around his head, or Danny's tongue exploring his body, or even the feeling of Danny releasing in him. "Oh… Yeah… Oh god," gasped under his breath and released. He opened his eyes and instantly knew he was silently crying. He always wants what he can't have.

He walked into the empty locker room with a towel around his waist and quickly got dressed. Not wanting to wait around he grabbed his bag and walked to the bus, sitting down in the very back. He plugged his headphones into his phone and pulled them over his head, then leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. Acting like you're listening to music is the best trick in the book to get someone to not talk to you, Julian's used it a million times now.  

When Julian opened his eyes he was still on the bus, and the team was slowly filing on and sliding into their usual seats. Someone sat down next to him and he looked over, only to be surprised at who was sitting next to him-- Tom.

He slid his headphone's off so they were draped around his neck and then spoke. "Uh, hey man," he practically whispered as his blue eyes studied the clearly tense man next to him.

"What the hell was that out there, man," Tom questioned in a hushed voice as he looked at Julian with wide eyes.

"I-I don't know," Julian sighed and let out a shaky breath, "It all happened so fast. I really have no clue what happened."

Tom sighed and leaned forward as if he wanted to understand Julian a little better. "When we get back, you're coming with me. We need to talk… in private," Tom demanded and placed his hand on Julian's knee.

Julian instantly pulled from his touch and pushed himself against the window. "Fine," he grumbled and pulled his headphones back up so all he could hear were the muffled voices of his teammates enjoying a good time after a win that he contributed little to nothing to.

Before Julian knew it, they were on the plain, and then in Boston and Tom was dragging him out to his car. When the two-man got in the car Tom let out a huff and began to drive. "You gonna tell me what the fuck is up with you," Tom asked as he jumped on the highway.

Julian let out a huff of his own before responding, "Tell you what? There's nothing to talk about Tom!"

The older man rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel a little harder. "Cut the shit, Julian. Something is up. And don't you lie to me," Tom barked with a scowl on his face. 

Julian looked out the window and didn't say a word as he watched the trees a houses whizz by them. The car came to a complete stop and Julian looked forward to see Tom's front gate slowly opening. Tom pulled forward and went into the garage before killing the engine.

"Edelman you getting out, or what," Tom asked suddenly outside the passenger door.

"Ugh," Julian groaned and got out of the car. "Why'd you bring me here, Tom? There's nothing to talk about."

Tom sighed as he placed his keys on the counter and then walked over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. Both men moved over to the breakfast bar and sat there for a few minutes in silence.

"I… I think I love him," Julian let out as he broke the silence. His blue eyes almost instantly became watery. 

"Who," Tom asked softly as he glanced over at Julian.

"D-Danny. I think I love him," he admitted again as he ran his hands down his face and let out a long sigh.

"I know you do," Tom responded in a bold voice as he placed his hand on Julian's shoulder, attempting to calm the younger man down.

"N-No, Tom," Julian budded in as some tears ran down his cheeks. This was the first time he had said those words out loud and it made his heartbreak because he'd never be able to hear those words from Danny. "No, Tom. Not like a best friend. LIke I love him more than just a friend."

Tom smiled and squeezed Julian's shoulder. "I know," he repeated, "Jules, it's obvious. Are you just realizing this now that he's broken up with Olivia?"

Julian shook his head and looked over at Tom with tear-stained cheeks. "No, I've known for a while now… I just… Seeing him that night that they broke up… It was the first time my heart actually broke for him… for anyone."

Tom sighed and nodded at Julian. "I see," he mumbled and looked at Julian with an intense look. "He feels the same, ya know?"

Julian pulled from Tom's touch and shook his head as he looked at his quarterback. "Are you fucking kidding me? There's no way," Julian shot at Tom as he threw his hands up.

"What the hell are you talking about, Jules," Tom questioned with furrowed eyebrows, "It's fucking obvious. He follows you around like a puppy dog!"

Julian shook his head. "That's just it! Fucking Olivia said that she thought that we were screwing and that's why she broke up with him," Julian complained as his blue eyes showed sadness.

Tom let out a huff. "He's in denial, Jules."

"God, that's the biggest amount of bullshit I've ever heard, Tom," Julian called Tom out and shook his head. "Let's face it. I'm in love with someone who could never love me back." Julian sighed and moved so his forehead was resting on the cool countertop.

Tom placed his hand on Julian's back. "Maybe you should talk to him, Jules. He's probably just as scared as you are. Neither of you are ‘out', but if you both only show interest in each other then I don't see a need to be ‘out'... But… Maybe you could talk to him about beliefs? Like see if you two are on the same page about it first," Tom advised in a soft, comforting voice.

Julian nodded and closed his eyes, silently cursing himself for catching feelings.

***

Julian was sitting on his couch when the doorbell rang. He sighed and stood up. It was Tuesday, their only off day this week, and he didn't want to do anything or see anyone. He shuffled to the door and looked out his peephole to see Danny standing outside his door, shivering from the cold because the dumbass refused to wear a coat.

He shook his head and walked away. If Danny really wanted in he would use his key. "Julian," Danny called through the door as he jumped up and down, trying to keep warm. "Come on!" Julian sighed and rolled his eyes and turned around to walk back to the door.

He yanked it open and looked Danny dead in the eyes. "What the fuck could you possibly want," Julian shouted as his blue eyes opened wider and he raised his eyebrows in question. Danny didn't say a word. "I'm trying to fucking enjoy my off day. Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Julian," Danny's sad voice said just as Julian was about to slam the door shut. Julian stopped at looked at his best friend.

"What," Julian asked through gritted teeth as he studied the look on Danny's face-- soft, but sad. Julian's look softened once he looked into Danny's brown eyes. 

"Can you please just hear me out," Danny complained as he took a step toward Julian, "and let me in. It's fucking cold out."

Julian sighed and rolled his eyes as he moved aside and let Danny walk past him. Once he closed the door he turned and walked into the living room where Danny was sitting, waiting for him to walk in. He sighed as he sat down in a recliner adjacent to Danny.

"Jules, I don't know what I've done for you to push me away like you have," Danny asked and raised an eyebrow, "But I'm sorry. I miss your friendship." Julian just looked at him with squinted blue eyes. Danny continued, "Like you've just shut me out. And I don't get it. Is it something I've done?"

"That's the key fucking word, Danny. That's the key fucking word," Julian replied as he stood up and looked at his best friend with bewilderment playing on his face.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jules," Danny asked as his brown eyes attempted to search Julian's blue ones.

"Friendship," Julian shouted as he shook his head. "I can't believe I'm doing this right now!" He looked up at the ceiling and let out a big huff.

"Wait what," Danny wondered and stood to be on Julian's level. "Julian, what's happening here!?"

Julian gave Danny as dead look but quickly looked away. "Please… Please just leave," Julian suddenly pleaded as fear suddenly overtook him.

Danny raised an eyebrow and took a deep breath. "Jules," he said softly as he reached his hand out for Julian, but Julian jumped back.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me, you son of a bitch," Julian warned as he pointed at Danny with an accusing finger.

Danny sighed, took a step back, and looked down at his feet then back up at Julian. When he met Julian's eyes tears began to run down his face. "Julian… Please. You've been acting so weird lately. I just want my best friend back," Danny confessed and wiped at his eyes.

Julian looked at Danny in disgust. "I don't think that can happen. Can you please just leave," Julian begged as he let out a long huff.

"I-I… Yeah," Danny stumbled on his words as he began to back out of the room and to the front door.

Julian stood there until he heard the door shut. Once he could hear is slam shut he collapsed into the recliner and tears began rolling down his face. He reached into his pocket and clicked on the contact for the one person he could tell everything.

"Jules! Baby, it's been so long since you've called," her calming voice came from the other end; Julian instantly relaxed but could only let out a sniffle. "Julian? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"M-Mom," his voice cracked as he closed his eyes, "I-I think I'm gay."

"Oh baby," her voice called out and it sounded like she was crying. "Have… Have… How'd you come to that conclusion?"

Julian held back a sob. "I-I… Danny… I love Danny," was all Julian could choke out.

"Oh darling," was all she could say before Julian broke out into more tears.

"I don't think he loves me back. I-I… It's not fair," Julian was now sobbing into the phone uncontrollably.

"It's okay, baby," she mumbled through the phone and repeated it over the next few minutes as Julian was unable to make words. Once he finally calmed down his mom spoke again, "Have you tried talking to him?"

Julian shook his head and closed his eyes. "No… I'm too afraid," Julian confessed and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand.

"You have to talk to him, Julian," she demanded, "Otherwise nothing will happen and you'll only hurt more. You really need to learn to not bottle up your feelings."

Julian sighed. "I-I don't want to be rejected by him," Julian admitted and sucked in a long breath.

"Julian, would you be where you are today if you didn't take any risks," his mom asked in a stern voice.

"No."

"Exactly. So nothing's gonna happen with Danny. And I'm sure that even if you tell Danny you like him, he'll still be accepting of you," she told him, "So you've gotta get off your ass and smell the roses, you hear me, Julian Francis?"

Julian nodded and sat up, suddenly feeling much better. "Yeah. Okay… I'll go over right now. Thank you, mom… Love you," Julian said into the phone and hung up without listening to anything else his mom had to say.

Julian pulled into Danny's parking complex, thankful that he didn't get in an accident due to being in deep thought the whole drive. He sighed as he walked into the lobby with his hands chilling in his hoodie pocket and there was no one at security to question why he couldn't be buzzed in. He quickly jumped into the elevator and rode it up to Danny's floor.

When he stood outside the door his heart began racing and he wasn't sure what to do once Danny answered. He reluctantly brought his hand up and knocked on the door three times. About a minute later he could hear a sigh on the other side of the door and then the door slowly swung open. "Now you want to talk," Danny asked in a somewhat annoyed voice.

Danny didn't look too good. He had red cheeks and nearly bloodshot brown eyes as he looked at Julian. Julian couldn't help but feel bad like it was all his fault.

"I-I just please," Julian begged as he looked at Danny with watery eyes.

Danny sighed and moved over so Julian could walk in. Once Julian was in he sat down and watched as Danny rounded the couch and sat down on the couch next to him.

"I'm sorry I was a dick," Julian started, "I-I… I don't know… I talked to my mom after you left and I think… I think I'm ready to talk to you about what's been going on." 

"Okay," Danny responded slowly and looked at Julian with a little bit of worry.

"I'm gay," Julian paused and then spoke up again, "Or at least bi… I just… I've looked at you as more than a best friend the past few years and ever since your break up with Olivia… Seeing you all broken and… I don't know… The feelings that I've been able to push aside all this time… have been just that-- pushed aside."

Danny was about to say something but quickly stopped himself as Julian continued to talk, "And then she made those accusations that you and I were… Ya know… I couldn't help but hope it was all true, but of course, it wasn't… But you laughed at the thought, and while I played along I was extremely heartbroken. It hit me so hard and I just…" Julian choked back a sob as he placed his right hand over his mouth and looked down at his feet.

There was a hand placed on Julian's knee. He looked up through his teary eyes and saw Danny's concerned eyes looking back at him. "I'm sorry Julian," he whispered and took a deep breath. "I never meant to hurt you, Bubs. I've been battling my own feelings lately too. And I just… I just got to realize how I've felt this past week."

Julian continued to look at Danny as fear shot throughout his body. He braced himself for the worst.

"I've… I've realized how much I really care for you. When you had that nightmare the other day… Oh god, you terrified me. I didn't like seeing you like that," Danny confessed and rubbed Julian's knee with his thumb.

Julian sniffled.

"I-I… I like you… I've realized that much," Danny whispered and ducked his head so his chin dug into his chest. "I still don't know to what extent though."

Julian nodded and wiped his tears away.

"Can… would you be okay if we were just friends for now," Danny asked as he looked at Julian with hopeful eyes.

"I-I… Yeah," Julian responded and took a deep breath-- This wasn't what he wanted, and it broke his heart.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sequel or?


End file.
